I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
