soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
