i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Two words: blizzard sex
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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