I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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