Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
