They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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