This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
