I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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