found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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