I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
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