he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize