I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
