if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
