I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
How naked do you want me to be?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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