The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
