i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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