Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize