ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
