you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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