it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
