My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
