AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
