i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
