i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
