Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You did what with his pubic hair?
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