We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
