Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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