I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
