yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
