I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
