I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
