thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
