i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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