i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
