I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
