Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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