i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
