question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize