Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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