Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
