why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
