Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
