I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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