I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
where does the pee come out of this thing
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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