i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
