you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize