Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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