Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
