thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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