Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize