i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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