I bet he comes in French.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I checked into jail on foursquare
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
