I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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