I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
