I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
