She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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