Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize