8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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