well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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