Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
