Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
