My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A+ Viking dick
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
