im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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