He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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